Dating apps are now the reality of modern romance, with many people finding their life partners online.
But, Australians have been warned by the big banks and cyber experts to guard their hearts and accounts this Valentine's day against charming scammers posing as the real deal.
Here's how to spot a romance scam.
What are romance scams on Valentine's day?
It's when scammers manufacture a false romantic connection with the intention to persuade or pressure someone into sending money or suggesting a fraudulent investment opportunity.
They generally send messages to many targets at once to initiate contact.
Scammers tend to contact targets via:
- Text or email
- Dating apps
- Social media posts
- Discussion forums
Cybertrace CEO Dan Halpin says scammers exploit heightened emotions around Valentine's Day knowing people are more open to romance.
"With their high digital engagement and financial stability, Australians are prime targets," Mr Halpin tells the ABC.
"The combination of loneliness, hope and a trusting nature makes it easier for scammers to manipulate victims into emotional and financial dependence."
Anne, a 26-year-old from Melbourne, lost over $46,000 to a romance scammer in 2024 after they connected on Tinder.
She thought she found a "genuine romantic connection" with a man online. However, it's believed the persona was created by a criminal syndicate designed to manipulate.
How can you tell if someone is a romance scammer?
Scammers typically use false identities and elaborate backstories to play on emotional triggers.
They take advantage of people looking for love by revealing personal or emotional details about themselves.
For instance, in Anne's case, the scammer lured her in by talking about his life's tragedies — how his father died in a car accident and his mother remarried, leaving him feeling isolated.
Scammers also portray themselves as attractive, single and successful individuals.
Their photos are typically either stolen from real people's accounts or generated through artificial intelligence (AI).
Australian Banking Association CEO Anna Bligh says AI has made romance scams much more sophisticated.
"Artificially generated fake profiles and chatbots make fake love look like the real deal," Ms Bligh says.
"People don't just lose money. They suffer deep emotional trauma, thinking they've found love only to realise they are being swindled."
What type of language do they use?
Mr Halpin says scammers use the complex language of love to connect with their victims in the early stages.
"They create an emotional addiction by showering victims with praise and using language such as soulmate or destiny.
"Love bombing keeps victims hooked along with nightly check-ins and grand promises of a future together.
"When that validation becomes part of their daily routine, victims are more likely to comply with financial requests."
What are the red flags of a romance scammer?
NAB head of security advisory Laura Hartley says it's important to pay attention to the information someone gives you about themselves.
"You need to ask a lot of questions of your would-be Romeo or Juliet," Ms Hartley said.
"Criminals prefer to talk about you instead of themselves, so look for inconsistencies in their stories and speak to family and friends about the relationship."
Here are some common signs to watch out for:
- The scammers will profess love quickly to get you all swept up in the emotions
- They will have reasons about why they can't meet in person or Facetime, webcam or Zoom
- They move the conversation from the dating app onto an end-to-end encryption messaging platform such as WhatsApp
- Images that are too perfect and flawless
- They ask you for money, often with an emotional reason why, such as a personal, financial or medical emergency, for example, a sick relative
- They convince you to use cryptocurrency and invest in a fake scheme they say is real
- They ask you to only trust them and keep things secret
- If you don't send money right away, their messages and calls becomes desperate or persistent
- Being asked to accept a money transfer and then transfer those funds to another account
Mr Halpin says once a victim pays, the scammer escalates with more "fabricated messages" until the victim realises it's a scam or they run out of money.
How to protect yourself from scammers
Most importantly, never send money, card or bank details to someone you don't know and haven't met in person.
Do a name or online reverse image search of your admirer to check whether the person you're speaking to online has been used by someone else. It'll give you a pretty good idea whether it's their true identity.
Be alert for spelling and grammar mistakes and inconsistencies in what they say.
Don't keep an online relationship secret. Tell people you trust about it. It can be easier for someone else to spot things that don't seem right.
Romance scams costing Australians millions
You're not being cautious without reason.
Australians lost more than $23.6 million to romance scams last year.
But those are only the losses reported to the ACCC's Scamwatch, so it's likely the true figure is higher.
[graph]How do you report a scammer?
People are encouraged to report scams to the ACCC's Scamwatch, regardless of whether they've lost money or not.
You can report cybercrimes to police through the Australian Cyber Security Centre's online reporting portal.
If you're concerned you're a victim of identity theft, you can contact IDCARE, a not-for-profit charity that describes itself as Australia's national identity and cyber support service.
The ACCC also recommends Lifeline for crisis support to help with emotional distress about scams and Beyond Blue for support for anxiety and depression.
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