Alec Baldwin was diagnosed with PTSD in the wake of the 'Rust' tragedy

Noting his OCD has worsened, Hilaria said on the couple's new reality show 'The Baldwins': "Everyone who is close to Alec has seen his mental health decline.

"He was diagnosed with PTSD, and he says in his darkest moments, 'If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn't it have been me?'"

The former '30 Rock' star -who has Carmen, 11, Rafael, nine, Leonardo, eight, Romeo, six, Eduardo and Marilu, both four, and two-year-old Ilaria with Hilaria and 29-year-old Ireland with ex-wife Kim Basinger - admitted there were days when he couldn't get out of bed because of the way he felt.

He said in a confessional: "This past year was just terrible. There were times I'd lay in bed. I'd go, 'Wow, my kids. I can't get up.' That's not like me. I'm not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never."

Hilaria also told her husband: "You wake up in the morning and you're like, 'Oh god, why did I wake up?' "

The 'Pixie' actor recalled not knowing how to answer when a friend asked how he was doing.

He told his wife: "I said, 'I'm happier when I'm asleep than when I'm awake.' "

And Alec - whose involuntary manslaughter trial collapsed last July - found it harder to cope with the toll the tragedy had on his family than on himself.

He said: "This has been just surreal. I mean, I can't even believe that we're going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than me, because I think to myself, well, you know, I'm going to try to my best to just get through it, and I think what it's done to you and how much it's hurt you and everything."

But the couple agreed their children had got them through the difficult time.

The 41-year-old yoga instructor said: I look at the kids, and I see how hard we're trying to create happy for them, even if we're masking stuff for ourselves.

"I know that what we're going through is maybe unique, but every family goes through hard times, and that's something that we can feel a community of support, knowing that the best that we can do is do our best and try to make our kids happy, and so that's what we're doing."

Alec added: "Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids going through this. I never would have made it with this. Sometimes I'd say, 'Why did I have seven kids? Why do we have seven kids?' And I realise, to help carry me and you through this situation."