Chrissy Teigen is drinking again, four years after getting sober

However, while promoting her upcoming podcast interview with Holly Whitaker, the author of the book 'Quit Like A Woman' which helped Chrissy to get sober, she confessed: "The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing."

Chrissy shared: "Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the f****** beast that is alcohol. But to have to admit to all of you: I let it back into my life. to let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply.

"I was so proud every time one of you told me on the street that holly and I made you want to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am. The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing.

"I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I am one hundred percent p***** that I can't be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into eight and feeling like s***.

"I'm tired of throwing up on a Tuesday. I don't wanna feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd. I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days. So your rational mind is probably like "OK THEN STOP, B****!" and god, do I f****** AGREE!

"All I know is my relationship with the whole process of sobriety (and messing up) has changed for the better. I am deeply aware of where this can go if I let it. I guess my plan right now is to continue to be mindful with it. I can go to a concert sober and have the greatest time ever. I can avoid absinthe at the Ren Faire and be so abbbbsolutely full of joy. Photos of my kid's birthday parties are no longer me with bleary, sleepy drinking eyes. And I am proud of that. But I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn't normal and never will be. Thank you for allowing me to figure it out openly in front of you all. Anyhow. This is for all the people who are figuring it out. And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you. Until we meet again."

Holly shared the post on her own Instagram Stories and wrote: "If you haven't PLEASE go read Chrissy's caption about finding her footing in quitting / changing her relationship with alcohol (and then listen to our podcast! Where we talk at length about 'relapse'. CT's experience is so much more reflective of how it goes for most people than our traditional narratives - it's a process, an ongoing one and our current culture and paradigms do not allow for what Chrissy is talking about. She was brave for talking about her relationship to alcohol in the first place and here she is even more so."