Deepthi Indushekar never longed for a sibling while growing up.
Her 11-year-old daughter feels the same.
"She was so clear, even when she was just three years old: I don't want anybody, don't bring anyone else into this home," laughs the 40-year-old living in Melbourne/Naarm.
Deepthi and her husband's decision to have one child was also shaped by their lack of village.
"My daughter was born in India, and we moved country. We are a nuclear family here, and having no support, I didn't want to give birth to another and have them in child care at six months old because I'd have to go back to work," says Deepthi.
"I love that I can give my daughter undivided attention. I can do all the things that I wanted to do for her, and not feel the financial strain of it."
Census data shows the number of one-child families in Australia has more than doubled in the past 40 years.
We asked to hear from parents who are happily "one and done" on what led them to having an only child and why they love it. Eight mums shared their thoughts with us.
'We can be ourselves and parents'
Sarah Cunningham, 36, Brisbane/Meanjin. Daughter aged 18 months
Why just the one?
We didn't plan to have just one, the idea more crept up on us.
Pregnancy and birth were quite difficult.
Cost of living is a big issue.
We also have parents that require more care than we anticipated at this stage in life.
Climate change is also a concern.
What do you love about it?
We feel really capable of being ourselves and being parents.
We wouldn't be able to give the time and attention and love to [multiple] children, while also being able to maintain our own health and identity.
One child is the right balance for us.
'I loved being an only child'
Jamie-Lee Lelliott, 29, Sydney/Gadigal Country. Daughter aged three
Why just the one?
I'm an only child raising an only child. I loved it as a kid, loved it as an adult, and love raising one child now.
Kids are hard work, too. I want to enjoy her childhood and not be constantly stressed.
The argument from parents of multi-children is always "What happens when you're old and die and then they're left in the world by themselves?"
Well, I was nine when my mum lost her battle to cancer, and as any child would feel, it was tough.
I didn't feel alone because I had a strong relationship with my dad and grandma.
What do you love about it?
I would say that we can do almost anything she asks to do without having to juggle another child and their interests.
Without feeling any guilt with having to split time, attention, and costs between multiple children.
'We did parenting on hard mode'
Ming Pang, 45, Perth/Boorloo. Son aged six
Why just the one?
The night I gave birth was one of the scariest nights of my life. Delivery lasted 35 hours and I lost three pints [1.4L] of blood.
He was born in Malaysia and the pandemic hit when he was one. That lockdown was long and difficult.
Under five is the roughest time, and we did it on hard mode.
What do you love about it?
Having one child means we don't have to worry about having enough resources to give him.
And I don't just mean money and time, but our mental health.
The mental energy for being there for a little one.
Making the big move from Malaysia, I don't think I would have had the patience and empathy to undertake that huge change with more than him.
'I don't have the energy to start again'
Carmel Wren-Hanly, 45, Cessnock/lands of the Wonnarua people. Son aged five
Why just the one?
Growing up I thought I would get married and have five kids. I was the baby of four.
As time went by and I realised how hard it was to become pregnant, the number went down to three kids, to eventually "Please, I just want one at least".
After a long infertility journey, I finally found out I was pregnant two months before I turned 40.
I have thought about trying for more, but it would be a struggle again.
Now that I'm 45, I just don't have the energy to begin the baby stage again.
What do you love about it?
With the cost of living it is great to have just the one we can dote on and give our attention to, so they can strive and be the best version of himself.
It's hard to juggle work and home as it is let alone adding more kids into the mix.
I love our triangle family.
'Always one of us to give her attention'
Holly Nebauer, 29, Canberra/Ngambri. Daughter aged two
Why just the one?
I always thought that as my daughter got older I would feel that longing to have another everyone talks about.
But both my partner and I felt a sense of contentment.
We are able to start planning future things, like holidays and schooling.
And we solidified our choice recently with my partner getting a vasectomy.
What do you love about it?
Being able to just experience life with just the three of us.
Go out to eat at restaurants and have that little bit more of an adult environment.
There is always one of us who can give her the attention she requires.
'Not wanting to push my body'
Erin Burrows, 29, Gold Coast/Yugambeh Language Region. Son aged three
Why just the one?
There is good and bad in everything in life, but after my son was born my partner and I were leaning more on the side of having just the one.
I did miscarry before I had my son. That played on it, too, not wanting to push my body too much.
What do you love about it?
Being able to give him all my attention.
'Our family feels full'
Olivia Smith, 40, Melbourne/Naarm. Child aged three
Why just the one?
Growing up, I always assumed I'd have two kids because that's just what people do.
As life continued, my partner pointed out that having one is an option; only one sports event to go to on the weekend. The logistics seemed appealing.
We are also mindful of climate change, not wanting to add too many humans, and housing.
We love living in North Melbourne and we couldn't afford a bigger house in the same location.
What do you love about it?
Our family feels full. When we're all hiding in a bear cave under a blanket, it feels like everyone who should be there is there.
I think what I love most is that I have the time and space to be as close as possible to the parent I want to be.
Thanks to all the parents who spoke with us. Some comments have been edited for clarity and brevity.
