When Hannah Gheller had her baby 14 weeks ago, she did not expect social media to become such a "minefield".
The first-time mum from Melbourne/Naarm says she felt it was a "shame-inducing tool" when she was struggling to breastfeed and her son wasn't gaining weight.
"I would google tips for improving [milk] supply and expressing, only for my Instagram to effectively be filled with tradwives who were showing off their chest freezers full of expressed milk. Or how formula is not natural and therefore shouldn't be fed to babies."
She says the content naturally made her have lots of self-doubt.
"It really can mess with your head, as every time you google something, your feed just becomes flooded with conflicting and potentially not the best clinical advice," she says.
'A whole roller-coaster of emotional changes'
Megan Galbally, the Victorian representative for the Section of Perinatal and Infant Psychiatry at the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists, says the postpartum period is a vulnerable time for women.
"Everything is new, particularly if it's a first baby; getting to know that new little person, going through a whole roller-coaster of emotions, changes in your body and your lifestyle," she says.
"It's one of the biggest upheavals that people [can] go through — becoming a parent."
She says parents may naturally find themselves wanting information online or scrolling social media on their phone.
"[They're] up late at night, they've settled, or they've been feeding, and they turn to look something up or to seek some information or advice about this new world that they're in," she says.
"[But] there can be [an] enormously wide [range of] information on the internet that can be really confusing to navigate and work out not only what is kind of factual, but also what fits with the way you want to parent."
Dr Galbally says sleep deprivation and being in the "lonely baby bubble" can mean some parents may struggle to filter what content is appropriate or whether being online is healthy for them.
Julie Borninkhof, CEO of Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA), says women are also most at risk of the onset or return of mental health issues in early motherhood.
"The stats show us there are a significant number of people experiencing distress, from struggling to adjust to parenting through to postnatal psychosis," she says.
I envy mothers in 'phoneless times'
Jacquie Scotcher had her two sons a year apart and says she found herself "absorbing way too much social media".
The mum from Northern New South Wales, on Bundjalung land, says the information filled her already "sleep-deprived and scattered brain".
"The breastfeeding periods at night were times ripe for overwhelm; I would get lost in comment sections," she says.
"I found it was difficult to tune into my mothering instincts amongst the 'noise'.
"I often found myself thinking with envy about what mothers did during phoneless times."
The visual artist says she began focusing on her creativity as an outlet, making an exhibition inspired by her postpartum journey.
"Now my boys are older, and my sleeping patterns restored, my phone use has decreased and I feel I have much more control over my headspace," she says.
"Overall, I think it would have been better for me to have not had it during this time."
Hannah says at the time, she wasn't in the headspace to try to change her social media algorithms.
"I didn't have capacity to think about it," she says.
"But now knowing what I know, I always hide the suggested posts and that seems to help."
How can you look after yourself?
Brisbane/Meanjin-based lactation consultant and midwife Jenni Watts has been supporting mothers and babies for 40 years.
She says the most common thing she sees in new mothers who are going down a "rabbit hole" online, is a sense that they can control their baby's behaviours.
"We can't control babies, people need to understand what is age appropriate," she says.
"Babies haven't changed, what's changed is what we think they should be doing.
"So, when I sit down with mums and they try to compare, I say 'you can't compare, we've got to look at so many factors'."
She says often the babies present as "disorganised and chaotic" and the mothers have a "real dissatisfaction about who they are as parents".
"And that's so unfair, because mothering of any infant is exhausting," she says.
Ms Watts recommends new mothers don't read anything online for the first six weeks of their baby's life.
She also encourages them to join a parenting support group through, International Board-Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC), the Australian Breastfeeding Association, government-run child health clinics or reach out to a qualified professional for one-on-one advice.
She says her goal, and the goal of other practitioners, should be to validate the mother's experience and focus on age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate advice.
"Let's just guide you through what is normal and then magic happens," she says.
Hannah says she has been able to find reputable sources to seek advice on, rather than relying on what her algorithm sends her.
Some good sites include:
This article contains general information only. You should consider obtaining independent professional advice in relation to your particular circumstances.
