Suzanne Shaw has been on antidepressants for 20 years
The former Hear'Say singer - who has Corey, 15, with ex-boyfriend Darren Day, and Rafferty, four, with fiancé Sam Greenfield - has had days where she didn't want to "wake up" but insisted she'd never take her own life because of her family
14 August 2020
She said: "I'm on antidepressants and I have been on them for 20 years. I came off them during my pregnancies but went back on them when I had postnatal depression twice.
"If I'd had a really heavy night, I'd not want to wake up. I would never take my own life because of the kids and responsibilities, but I'd think, 'Ugh, not another day, I can't do this.'
"I'd pull the duvet over my head and want it all to just go away."
The 38-year-old star has now given up alcohol as she admitted drinking only made her depression worse.
She told OK! magazine: "I was tired of being fed up with myself. I would do two months of not drinking, then I'd go to a wedding, drink loads and it would creep back into my life and I'd drink more.
"Every time I drank, it was taking a massive toll on my depression. My thoughts were getting darker and darker and I needed to help myself.
"I decided to do the One Year No Beer challenge and I'm six months in now. My last drink was on 3 January. I can't see myself going back to it, I prefer my life so much more now.
"When I'd open a bottle of wine, I'd be thinking how low I'd feel the next day so I wouldn't even enjoy it."
The former 'Emmerdale' actress - who has also gone vegan after turning to binge eating when she felt low - is now feeling much better about herself.
She said: "My anxiety was through the roof after drinking. Sam has noticed a massive difference in me now that I've stopped. I'm far less anxious or self-critical."
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