Kate Beckinsale will be "haunted forever" by the death of her stepfather Roy Battersby

She wrote: "Finding my father's dead body alone in the middle of the night at the age of five shaped my entire life. Seeing my beloved stepfather die a year ago today will haunt me forever. it does seem terribly careless to have managed to be present for both deaths and unable to prevent either, the second time trying with every single thing I had. It was not enough.

"in the process of losing my beloved Roy I lost family, friendships , at some points my own health, and all the money I had due to how disgusting the American healthcare system is for those who are not insured .I would do it again .No question .I cannot help feeling that I dreadfully failed -but I am trying to console myself today with all the preparation that he did in the last years of his life, how deeply he studied and practised as a Jungian and how thin the veil is between the energy of this life and whatever is next ,that some part of him was at peace with it. It does feel like a lie I am telling myself to try and feel better ,however. Perhaps I am just unfortunately not enlightened enough to sell that to myself over my sense of loss, guilt and failure."

Kate went on to praise Roy as "someone who uncompromisingly knew what was right and lived it" and thanked him for being her "father".

She wrote: "It is a tough day to talk about our fledgling and precious tragedy, but given that I couldn't save him, I'll be damned if I'm not going to honour him in some small way. He taught me how to be brave. He taught me that it doesn't matter if people don't like you as long as you're doing the right thing, he lost everything fighting for justice for the trade unions, for the Palestinians in the '70s,living with them in refugee camps in Lebanon for several years making his 1977 documentary "The Palestinian", fighting for the miners losing everything in the strikes. It was Roy who lovingly helped my Jewish adopted grandmother who fled Germany at 14,to painfully uncover what had become of her brother and parents who did not make it. He was blacklisted by the BBC and elsewhere. He would have had a completely different career if he had toed the line and not cared so much about what was right . I am so lucky that I was raised by someone who uncompromisingly knew what was right and lived it. And loved me .Thank you for being my father. I miss you so much."